Does anyone have a spare invite for Google+?
-Sherlock is my new favorite thing in life. Only three episodes is absolute balls.
-I have the two best friends in the entire world.
-tumblr is fucking addicting.
I am ridiculously sad about Ryan Dunn. That is all.
So, um... does anyone else have huge love for Game of Thrones? I'm a long-time fan of the books, and the show makes me squeal with glee every single episode.
Betty White's "get well soon" note to Rue McClanahan: "I hope you die, so I can be the last Golden Girl!"
♥ ♥ ♥
So, I've been sleeping even worse than usual, what with all the sadness and tears. So tonight, my insomniac ass has decided to self-medicate with really, really fucking adorable YouTube videos. And now, I subject you. I am both incredibly sorry and very not sorry all at the same time.
From the animal kingdom:
(This one is so cute that my brain nearly imploded. Srsly.)
And then I decided a bit of Matthew Gray Gubler being really awkward and adorable was called for:
Then, the Merlin boys being retarded and singing:
And the Children In Need special:
Which, of course, led to...
(I am disturbed by how much my dog, a white boxer, looks like a fucking Ood, by the way.)
And, because of the Whoness, I had to go to my favorite anything ever:
And, of course, from Doctor Who, we have to go to Torchwood...
And I will spend the rest of what short time I have left before Marcus wakes up and I have to spend three hours trying to get him to keep his goddamned voice down so as not to wake everyone else up watching Ray William Johnson and Phillip Defranko and quietly giggling to myself whilst drinking a never-ending supply of orange soda.
I hope my insomnia has entertained you at least a little bit, friends. Love you all.
ETA: LOLOL ♥ ♥ ♥
You know what, True Blood? You need to get rid of the annoying characters: you know, Sookie and Bill. Give me Eric, Pam, Lafayette, Jessica/Hoyt. That's all I need, bb. I'll be good to you.
P.S. Fuck you, two weeks. *emos*
Violent Acres is hosting a Charity Challenge on her blog... apparently, she'll post a picture if she meets her goal. It's a retarded incentive, but apparently effective... and the challenge is for a good cause. More info here.
I worked for eleven hours and want to die now. Also, my tattoo is itchy as hell. I hate itchy-tattoo-stage.
Rainbow Twist Twizzlers? TASTE LIKE ASS. ASS AND PLASTIC.
...Amy Winehouse. I'm not sure what I think. Hmm.
Yes, that's what I've got.
Worked at Lowes today. Well, trained. Their training is 90% computer training, and their stupid headphones hurt my stupid ears. However, it still looks way better than Pizza Hut, so I'm content.
And then? (By the by, you can blame this whole section on autumnyte for pointing out this first thing.) The internet fucking won. Won what, you may ask? EVERYTHING. It's mildly terrifying that you can buy that online so cheap, but that's all blocked out by the comments. THE COMMENTS ARE SO FUNNY, OKAY.
Then, of course, since it is Amazon.com and Amazon.com does provide literally everything, you can also get a military grade tank, a UFO detector, and The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. (What amuses me most is that, in the little section where it has the "Customers who bought this also bought:" it has anal douche syringes and Smallville DVDs. *dies laughing*)
OMG AMAZON FTW, OKAY. THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN SEX IN SPACE.
SPOTTED DICK IN A CAN. FRESH WHOLE RABBIT CARCASSES. (The best part of that one, is, of course, the "Customers who bought this" thing suggests male posing pouches as something frequently purchased with dead rabbits. SO CREEPY. SO FUNNY.)
The eyes are the groin of the head.
Remember that, people.
I just overslept, I have to be at work in an hour, I have to walk, and it's raining.
WAY TO SUCK, NOVEMBER.
Today is going to last forever. I've been outrageously tired all weekend (and unable to sleep, of course), and I'm kind of exhausted, and today is going to drag.
On the plus side of things, I am going to Wal*Mart to get a new hat (or two) and also a Three Musketeers bar (because, you know, craving).
I may or may not have put Viva la Cobra on my mp3 player... you guys. YOU GUYS. I still haven't listened to the entirety of Venus Doom, but I'm going to listen to Cobra Starship. I am a horrible fangirl.
I loved House tonight, but the one thing that sticks out most in my mind is not how awesome the episode was, but how incredibly smokin' hot Azura Skye is. I mean, WOO. I've seen some of her guest appearances, and every time I'm struck with how completely gorgeous she is.
I have to go to bed now before I fall asleep on my keyboard. WOO.
I am selling old DVD sets, so if anyone is interested, they can be found here.
Okay, I totally give. I fucking love the woman who writes Violent Acres. I want to have angry sex with her, then have twenty of her little asshole babies.
...too much? OH WELL.
I went to the doctor and now I have, like, five inhalers. How that happened, I'm not sure. Also, I have Tater Tots. I'm even less sure of when I may have acquired them, but I'm damned sure I'm gonna eat them now. Om nom nom nom. Tater Tots, oh yes.
And Cherry Chapstick! This shit is just, like, magically appearing. Hell, I love cold medicine.
That is all.
Um, I have a feeling that the only thing that I'll be able to say at the end of the episode is this, and so I'm saying it now:
ETA: CREED! YOU TOO!
ETA 2: JIM! I didn't think I could love you more, and then I did. And JAN!
God, I love this show.
ETA 3: TWoP is recapping The Office now? I am incredibly unsure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it is Wing Chung. On the other, TWoP has managed to tear into some shows so hard that I actually stopped liking them. I'm... so confused.
Well, um. I guess I'm not waiting till Monday to be online anymore! This because I worked even longer than I was supposed to and completely and totally fucked up my back. I have no idea what the hell I did, but ow.
...Saves the Day and Leathermouth at the same show. Does that hurt anyone else? Right in the soul?
...yeah, that's all I got.
Also, upon further pondering, I have decided that Darryl/Kelly is totally my new favorite thing in life. Make that happen, The Office, kthx.
I hate my job!
In other news:
( How fucking fantastic was The Office last night? Pretty fucking fantastic, indeed.Collapse )
To sum up: Toby FTW! I love me some Toby. *pets him*
Tomorrow, I am repotting Bob. (For those of you who are new, Bob is my aloe plant. He is ginormous. He is five years old now! I love him for serious). He has two more babies, so now I have to find homes for them, whatev. Hez is bringing her aloe over tomorrow for repotting too, methinks.
Also, I got a package in the mail and opened it to find the most adorable thing ever. It is Marcus's Halloween costume... he is going to be Steve from Blue's Clues. THE SHIRT IS SO TINY AND GREEN AND CUTE.
The bruise on my jaw is just plain yellow now. It looks like I fell asleep on a highlighter. WOO.
I was hauled out of bed at five this morning... my grandmother had to go have carpal tunnel surgery... she, of course, "forgot" to tell the surgeon that she's diabetic, and thus needed an appointment EARLY so she wouldn't bottom out while waiting for the anesthetic to wear off. Her appointment was scheduled for eleven thirty, and they called yesterday to reschedule it for five thirty in the morning. SHE, however, didn't call my parents until five this morning, because she, once again, "forgot". (I'm really pissed off at her for this. She's been "forgetting" things a lot lately... because she thinks my Dad doesn't pay enough attention to her, and she knows how he got all obsessive about helping out when Pap was diagnosed with Alzheimers. So now she's trying to guilt him into doing more shit for her, and it's just... pathetic, really.)
So Dad wakes me up at five. He pounded on my door, then yelled, "Okay, so, um, you know. Your grandmother's appointment was rescheduled for five thirty. I have to go to work now, and I won't get off until ten, and your mother is leaving now to take Gramma to the hospital. And, um, you know. It's pouring down rain. So I need you to get up now. You have ten minutes to get dressed, and I'll drop you off at Denny's. You can eat hashbrowns. You know? Get up. GET UP."
That was pretty amusing. I'm not fully conscious for at least half an hour upon waking, so I wasn't actually aware that I was awake until I was sitting at Denny's with a cup of coffee, talking to a waitress about the Eragon books. That was pretty amusing.
...I am going to go take a very hot shower, and then I will read porn all night. YAY!
Also, you know? BEST THING EVER:
Today was made of fail!
1.) While horribly busy at work, I ran up front and started helping. Four customers stopped me and did the leaning-in-worried-look thing and said, "honey, are you okay?", putting way too much emphasis on a whispered "okay", so I just laughed and said yes. I figured my face must still be swollen, whatever. THEN, I ran into the women's restroom to refill paper towels and noticed that I have a giant green-brown-yellow bruise on my jaw. It's huge... and it wasn't there AT ALL this morning. I am kind of disappointed that no one asked me after I discovered it how okay I was... I would have liked bursting into tears and sobbing, "He just won't stop hitting me!" to see the general reactions.
2.) Okay, it hasn't happened yet, but HELLO, tonight is the WHOLE HOUR LONG season premiere of The Office! *happy dances*
(Sorry, Supernatural peeps, I just can't get into it anymore. The Office for the win!)
Also, I would like to laugh heartily at everyone making such a big deal over bandom. YOU GUYS, shut up and enjoy the porn! That's what life is about!
And now I am going to take a long, hot bath. YAY! (Also, the memory foam mattress topper I got? IS MADE OF NINE DIFFERENT KINDS OF WIN. It doesn't make the bed more comfortable, per se, but I woke up this morning without back pain for the first time in many, many years. *dances*)
ETA: Um, so I just noticed that I have a fairly decent sized backlog of comments to get to. *SIGH* THANKS, LJ, FOR CONTINUING TO ONLY SEND ME SOME COMMENT NOTIFICATION. If I owe you one, especially in regards to the interest meme, I will get back to you eventually, I swear... just probably not tonight. ILU, though!
So, around four o'clock, my face started throbbing, like, more, and I got all nauseas and dizzy and blah. So, I threw up, took a pain pill, and laid down.
And I dreamt.
Okay, this dream requires backstory. To wit, I live at home with my parents. We none of us get along very well, but we pretend. Heather is my best friend in life. Her boyfriend is Jim (who is an asshole), and he's black. My dad? Is incredibly racist. He doesn't mind Heather in the house as long as it is for very brief periods of time, but Jim isn't even allowed to pull into the driveway when he drops me off. Also, Heather and Jim have two (and a half) children. Marcus is two, TJ is one, and she's pregnant again with Riley, who is due in January. Heather's children are also not allowed in the house... when Dad is home. Mom loves them, though, because they're babies and she craves grandchildren (though, amusingly enough, Marcus is terrified of her, and has been since day one).
Okay, that should be enough backstory, so I'm going to go into the dream now, but first I ought also say that, alright, I realized I was dreaming about halfway through, and I'll tell you why, and you'll probably laugh. But I should have totally realized it was a dream at first, because some details were just absurd, but you know how sometimes you just don't realize you're dreaming? Yeah, this was one of those times.
( The Dream.Collapse )
Then I woke up. I firmly believe that I only woke up because my brain went, "Wait, what? That was fucking stupid." Then I told my mom and dad and called Heather and talked to my sister and told them all about it, at which point, every single one of them pointed out that I should have realized it was a dream when Dad said he wanted to invite Jim into his house. Dad's actual words there were, "If you didn't realize that was a dream right there, then you're fucking retarded, you know? I don't know what that dentist gave you, but I think I want some, heh, you know?"
And that was the highlight of my day. Woo! I'm going to go take another pain pill and see if I can recreate the stupidity!
Also, thank you, those of you who commented with sympathetic noises at my last post. Yes, I do have pain pills (which, I suppose, given the dream-scene, is obvious), and yes, I am definitely taking advantage of that fact, because apparently, having your jaw bone sawed into is incredibly painful. *whimper*
I just got home from the oral surgeon.
I was all happy and giggly until, like, ten minutes ago, when my face started to throb.
I guess... the surgeon said he had to cut into my jawbone? Or something. I don't really remember. But it's apparently going to hurt, like, worse than it would have.
I worked for twelve hours today.
Tomorrow, I work for ten.
My paycheck is unsatisfactory. Meaning that I am unable to purchase my HIM tickets until next pay. I'm convinced that by the time I have the money scraped together, The Electric Club will have sold out. Woe is me!
Monday, I'm having teeth ripped out of my face.
...at least the spoilers for The Office are fucking awesome. Oh yes, they are. Dwight! ILU.
And Venus Doom? Pretty fucking good. Really depressing, but fantastic none the less. And I've been... really depressed lately, so this is totally my new jam. Oh, Ville. Plz to be not killing yourself tragically, okays?
I am just feeling... crazy. And alone. And... I don't feel alone often, because I'm not, but... I am, and I think I intend to stay that way for, like, a very long time, and... loneliness passes, eventually. Until then, there is always chocolate and Eric Millegan being adorable and webcomics.
I am blah.
Like, my entire life is blah right now.
My job sucks.
My teeth hurt constantly.
I am terrified of having them pulled on Monday. I suck at handling even tiny amounts of pain.
I've been getting headaches and forgetting things again. I could go see my doctor, but... without prescription coverage, it seems sort of pointless.
I am always tired and achy and you know what I want right now? I want the fucking weather to change. I want fifty degrees and cold breezes and leaves changing colors. I want to take my nephews trick-or-treating. I want it to be the end of November so I can go see HIM again.
I think I would really, really like to fast forward my life right now. That would be super.
I had a dream last night that was... weird, to say the least, but it had a cameo by two guys who I have, at one point in time, considered incredibly good friends.
I sort of wish I wasn't such a fuck-up, because I might still be friends with at least one of them if I wasn't a moronic basket case.
But... this one guy, I haven't seen in in three or four years. And he's not, like, the easiest guy to track down... his name is Mike Smith. My Mikey. Possibly the only guy I have ever truly considered marrying.
I... wish there was a way I could talk to him again. But, sadly, after I moved back to Pennsylvania, I was briefly contacted by a mutual friend of ours who told me that Mikey had moved to Florida and...
I miss him. And so now I feel all emo and stupid and... blah.
On the plus side, I am wearing a beret, and I look disturbingly adorable. Also, my homiest made me deviled eggs, and I bought cheese. So... yeah. Yum. And I have a Finnish subliminal messaging CD and really cheap hair dye, and FAST RELIEF Tylenol PM. Life could be worse, and I shouldn't really complain. I just wish that life had a rewind button sometimes.
My boss, the one who quit? Got fired yesterday, because HIS boss couldn't stand the fact that Bubbles dared quit when he wanted so badly to fire him. So he made shit up and fired him, leaving pretty much everyone completely assfucked because Bubbles had a fifty hour schedule that is now blank.
I'm going for my oral exam tomorrow, and I have no idea when the hell I'm getting my teeth pulled. This is knowledge I need, since I'm going to have to take time off of work.
Also, I can't stop reading Violent Acres. V is a bitch, but she's so fucking awesome.
Also, my favorite waitress bought me peanuts because she loves me, and I have had somewhere around six hours total of sleep in the past three days.
...and I want hashbrowns.
Also, the fact that Gerard Way got married in a unicorn shirt to Girl!Frank with Torosaurus as the ring bearer... pleases me. I'm actually really startled that I've seen posts about how horrible it all is. Plz, he has more than enough money to make mistakes, and maybe Lyn-Z is not a mistake. She is six different kinds of gorgeous, and talented to boot, so everyone stfu now, k?
SO! Fic recs for the month of August, aren't ya'll excited?
( My Chemical Romance.Collapse )
( Multibandom.Collapse )
( Fall Out Boy.Collapse )
Oh em eff gee, that took forfuckingever to do. WEE!
Bear in mind, some of these were written in August, some weren't. This is just what I've read. And I have a "to read" folder that contains more links than I have active brain cells, so I'm going to have these recs going for a long, long time. *g*
I fucking hate the dentist.
Today, shockingly, my appointment was only about five minutes long, but that's because the dentist opened my mouth, thanked me for brushing my teeth before I came, and then laughed and said, "Oh, yeah, let's send you to the oral surgeon."
I have to have my wisdom teeth and two others extracted. *whimper*
The oral surgeon's closest appointment is on the sixth, so fine, but that's just my exam, I don't know when I'll have the actual surgery. I found it pretty amusing that the receptionist asked me on the phone if I wanted to be sedated during the surgery. UM, YES. I interrupted her with, "I want to be very, very sedated. I want to be half dead. I want you to have to perform CPR on me when you are finished, because I want to feel nothing."
I am going to the store with homiest now. And then I am going to come home and curl up into a little ball and die because my face hurts so hard.
Okay, so. Marcus and TJ's new favorite song is AC/DC's "TNT". They both rock out to this song. It's completely adorable.
...so I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. *bites nails* I loathe the dentist, but my wisdom teeth need to come out... though that might not happen tomorrow, but still. The sound of that drill introduces a fear in my heart that is possibly deeper than any fear I've ever had. I think it started when I was five, and my mother and grandmother took me to the first dentist appointment that I can recall. The entire drive, my grandmother stated over and over and over again that she would rather deal with three days of intense labor and childbirth than go to the dentist for any length of time.
I'm sort of hoping that the pure and unadulterated joy I still feel since I found out Bubble's resigned will help me coast through the visit. That, and a hearty dose of laughing gas. WOO.
Sparkle Motion by bexless. Gerard/Frank. “We are a group of very special boys.”
Zen and the Art of Kissing by ink_like_blood. Gerard/Frank. "It's an audio book," Frank added.
Gerard laughed so hard, Frank hit him with the box.
Middle of Nowhere, Idaho by fvckofagun. Gerard/Frank. It's a truckstop in the middle of nowhere, Idaho.
Crackfic by bexless. Ray POV, But apparently, because Gerard is a complete asshole, he gave them lame, embarrassing, sex-related superpowers.
When Fanfics Bleed Into Real Life by isolde13. Gerard/Everyone and their mother. TOO FUNNY, GUYS.
Untangle It by opensound. Mikey/Bob. He winces, buries his face a little in the pillow. "If I were. You know. A fag. Liked the cock, and all. What would you do?"
Frank Has Died of Dysentery by dsudis. Gerard. "Frank died of dysentery," Gerard said, still not looking up. "And we lost Toro fording a river, but I'm getting pretty good at hunting, so I don't think Mikey and I will have to eat you."
Sticks and Stones by dsudis. Gen. I can't quote it or I'll spoil it.
Semi-Decent Proposals by misspamela. Pete/Patrick. “And if ‘Sugar’ hits the top ten, I’m going to marry you, motherfucker.”
MCR and FOB:
Starring You Instead of Me by ficbyzee. Pete/Frank, Bob/Frank. Pete thinks wistfully of his own body, and of the days when he didn't have morals.
Sing Ourselves to Sleep by dsudis. Gerard/Patrick. Being exhausted is nothing like being drunk, but some nights Gerard gets too tired to remember that.
Human Wreckage by airinshaw. Gerard/Patrick. He laughs at the look of total horror on Patrick's face as he gathers the takeout menus to his chest as though Gerard just insulted his children.
wake up and notice you're someone you're not by soundslikej. Pete/Patrick, Frank/Gerard, minor Patrick/Gerard. The rest of the day was spent passing phones back and forth while the two bands went through the five stages of body switching.
Untitled by bexless. Bob/Patrick. “I love Gerard to death, but like, I can only have so many conversations about the endless night sky. You know?”
When Drummers Harmonize, or, How Bob Got Patrick Laid by calathea. Bob/Patrick. Patrick slept in his car because he was afraid to walk back in on his roommate having a threesome and Patrick thought inflatable cacti were valid decorating choices.
This post brought to you by twelve hours of sleep, Dove chocolate, and Cherry Chapstick.
Ahem. Sorry about my last post, I had an outburst. *g* I just got so excited... I was really upset about being unable to go to Projekt Revolution, and all of a sudden, my old friend Tommy, who I haven't even seen in over a year, messages me and asks if I'm going, and tells me that Heather, Justin and I are all more than welcome to hitch a ride with him. So, YAY!
In celebration, I bring you bandslash recs! Mostly! Okay, yeah, some Vam, too, because I was rereading a few of my favorites lately and I have to.
Don't Knock It by off_floof. It's shmoopy! Yay!
Like Home by _justwords_, who may just be my favorite Vam writer ever.
Moonsong, by spiderweb_x. The link is to the epilogue, and it's spooky and neat.
Watercooler Romance by marigolde. More schmoop. AU, set in an office.
Walk Into the Sun by lemon__crush. Unfinished AU, excellent in all ways. Links to the next chapter are at the bottom of the page.
Three and Not The Two by one900. "Oh, wait, I know one. Well, it's not really a secret, but. Frank had his first lapdance to 'Jump, Jive and Wail' by the Brian Setzer Orchestra. Said it was the weirdest experience of his life."
They Won't Miss the Little Things by gryphonella. Ray’s kind of a kleptomaniac, or pack rat, depending on your definition.
Minutes by normalhumanbein. No pairing, some drug references and quite a bit of swearing, and really sort of sad.
Interesting by valerie_z. This is actually mostly FOB, but Gerard pops up, and is sort of the focus, and by the way, if you haven't read everything this lady has written yet, get to it. She's the funniest fic writer I've ever encountered.
OKAY, ENOUGH FOR NOW. I am off to go be happy some more.
If I could get a ride to a bookstore on Harry Potter Day? I could die happy.
( Also, some musicspam! All zip files, mp3 or wma.Collapse )
So, okay. I CANNOT HELP MYSELF.
I am one of those people that clings to the edges of various fandoms. I lack talent, so I do not write fic, do manips, no vids, no nothing from me.
But I can rec, and so I will.
NOW. Bear with me here, okay? I know that there are not a lot of bandslashers on my list, but that is, apparently, my new thing.
My Chemical Romance bandslash, to be precise.
( So, let me introduce you to the band:Collapse )
There are nine hundred thousand other awesome things about this band, but this is all that's popping up right now in my exhaustion-riddled brain, and I think it is a good enough start.
( And now, for the fic.Collapse )
This is, of course, only the tiniest sampling of recs, mostly to see if anyone is actually interested before I do any more, but I had to share these, because this fandom has some of the best fic I've seen since the SPN fandom started. So please, bandslashers or not, give these a go... most of them are AUs, anyway, so there's not a massive amount of confusion going in. Also, if anyone wants the music, just let me know, I have the three studio albums, and the Life on the Murder Scene audios.
zomg i am dying.
Thursday night I got two hours of sleep.
Last night I got two and a half.
I'm sort of afraid to fall asleep now, cause then I'll be up all night tonight and wrecked tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and stumbled downstairs, only to be surprised as hell to be greeted by Pap, who said, "You weren't sleeping, were you?" in the loudest voice ever with a big smile on his face.
I love my Pap.
Mom and Dad took him to the nursing home a bit ago. He seemed to like it well enough, and he's a lot more conversational with Gram not around.
Oh, yeah. Gram didn't go with them. She went to get her hair done.
So, me and Jenn were right. She really is a selfish bitch.
Am talking to Heather on the phone and want to be there badly.
Today is beautiful, weather-wise. It's cold and wet and I love it.
I hope it's like this, somewhat (hopefully less wet), for Kennywood next Sunday.
Fuck. I can't get my hair cut today.
I think I am just going to go curl up in the living room and play FF:T and do my laundry until it's time to wake Mom up, and then I'm going to crawl into bed and die.
I really do feel sorry for Mom and Dad, and their lack of celebration for their anniversary.
Before I go, I have to say: This weekend has renewed my love for LJ. You guys are all awesome. Thank you so much for being here for me. *smooshes* Yesterday afternoon was miserable, and thanks to you all, Heather, my sister, and Rob on AIM, managed to not go insane. Group hug, ya'll.
Group nap would be so much more fun.
For all those who commented on the earlier entry, thank you.
Pap is fine. There was nothing wrong. Gram went into her room to get something, and Pap went down into the basement. She's stupid, and instead of looking for him, she called his name a couple of times, which was about useless since he doesn't really remember it anymore. Plus, he hates her and doesn't talk much when she's around, and rarely responds to her. So she called the damned police, instead of taking ten seconds to look around her own damned house.
They took him to the ER anyway for a psych eval. The only good thing to come of this whole retarded mess is that he's being placed in a nursing home tomorrow morning. That's what I've been doing all night... calling the nursing home, the nursing home admins, making the arrangements for his placement. And dealing with all of her stupid fucking relatives who keep calling to find out where they are. If ONE MORE PERSON calls my house and demands to know who I am instead of saying fucking "hello", I'm going to snap.
My sister and I both think that Gram did it on purpose. The whole calling-the-cops thing. See, she really hates my mother. Isn't that fond of my father, either, but since he's her only living child, she pretends. All week, my father has been telling her that he's happy to be there any time, but that he was unavailable today, since it's my parent's thirty first wedding anniversary. My sister and I, and my mother agrees (though she hesitates to say it out loud), that Gram either knew where he was, or at least knew he was in the house, but she "panicked" on purpose, to ruin their day.
Wouldn't be the first time her dramatics came out to play in time to ruin someone's day.
The hospital did the evaluation, sent it on to the nursing home he's going to tomorrow, and sent everyone home. However, at this point, my father flat out refused to let my grandmother stay with Pap by herself. Rather than bring him here (it can severely confuse and even physically damage those with severe Alzheimeror dementia to be moved multiple times in the course of days), so Mom and Dad are staying there tonight.
Which leaves me here. And while I'm not complaining that they're staying there, as I think it's best for Pap, I'm freaking out. Cause ever since my house in Monessen, when Roger broke in and kicked my ass, I've been sort of terrified of being alone at night. Not... everywhere, I've to make that clear. But this house isn't really small... nor is it that big. But two floors, a basement, and a lot of random noises... so I'm freaked the fuck out.
I loathe that woman.
Jim had his license suspended, so Heather's father has been taking him to and from work, and taking her to and from the store and such. Jim can't drive, and Heather's dad is, at the moment, too fucked up to get behind the wheel, so I have nowhere else to go. So I'm here, alone, freaking out, and I'm feeling really selfish about panicking for myself, so I didn't say anything to anyone, but I am.
Today turned out to be really fucking peachy, no?
Now I'm sitting here, watching SVU, trying to eat a piece of pierogie pizza, and trying to concentrate on not letting myself stray into panic attack territory.
At least the weather is still workin' it for me.
I don't even know where to begin.
Today was such a good day, right? It was my parent's anniversary, they went out, had fun. I got my good medical news and my good work news, and my Lush stuff and it's beautiful outside and I'm wearing a hoodie and I love hoodies and I smell pretty cause of the Lush stuff and today was so nice.
And now Mom just called, said her and Dad are on their way to the hospital because something happened to Grandpap. She doesn't know what, only that Gramma called and said, "I can't talk, the ambulances here, he just got away from me" which means that she WASN'T FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION AGAIN and now Pap is hurt because she's a selfish, stupid whore.
I can't even BEGIN to describe how angry I am right now. I'm CRYING and I only cry when I'm pissed.
If she would have just listened to ANY OF THE SUGGESTIONS any of us have made over the past three fucking years, and more notably the past two weeks, none of this would be happening right now. If she would have listened to us three years ago, he would have had a psych eval and the Alzheimers would've been caught early enough to maybe slow down his deterioration. If she would have listened to me and dad this week, the alarms Dad put on the doors would've been active, and the baby-gate would've been up in front of the steps, and he wouldn't have been able to wander off or fall down the stairs or whatever he did. If she would have just opened her eyes for two goddamned minutes, he would be fine.
So now she's successfully ruined Mom and Dad's anniversary, my good day, my sister's good day, and Pap's whole fucking life.